have you ever considered that you might be missing out on all you could possibly experience in life? do you think you have more potential, more abilities or more blessings that could be yours? have you ever thought about what might be keeping you from achieving your fullest potential in life? i, obviously, have been thinking about such things.
as i come up to another birthday, i reflect on the year past. it’s been a rather unusual year full of highs and lows and in betweens. there are some things i wish i could have change or been spared from. but i honestly wouldn’t be where i am now…at least not in this specific place if i had not chosen and experienced exactly what i have. i might have learned other lessons or gone different places…i realize i could have done better. i know a common themes for me has been making the most of my life for God’s glory, not wasting time…and redemption. This post might could be categorized under one of these headings. i can still believe this thought pattern and such feels new, right?
there is one thing i am wrestling with right now. i was almost there but i reached a crossroads….the progress got put on hold. now i’m back to a place where i have to accept and move on without it. how can something scare you but matter so much? i want to be a wise steward of all God gives me. i desire to seek Him and follow His leading in my life. i believe i have heard Him on this…but what happens if no one else does? does that mean all was wasted. if it has to go away…i want my heart back! God, you know the longings of this heart. you created the inter-workings of me. you understand but you also gave me the free will which allows me to make mistakes. nearly all the mistakes i’ve made in the past are things i learned from. i wouldn’t want to go through the journey again but i’m glad i learned the lesson. perhaps some lessons are harder than others. God, i want to trust you with my life and leave all doubt behind.
i will always forget the lessons God has taught me. i will never understand why i have to re-learn. i want to understand God. “no matter how much older i get, i will always forget…”. i will get older and still be taking baby steps in some areas. God you you hold me when i’m scared and you point out all the things you did in my life. you remind me of the time you were there when no one else was around. i may not understand but i do know you are my Father. thus i press on. i press on believing that you alone satisfy the uncertainties. it’s you i want to live for.
