i think this blog has officially phased out. too many life periods have been covered. suggestions for a new blog name?

yay for future. yay for now.

forever one of my favorites:

“Therefore, behold, I will allure her [Israel] and bring her into the wilderness, and I will speak tenderly and to her heart.

There I will give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor [troubling] to be for her a door of hope and expectation. And she shall sing there and respond as in the days of her youth and as at the time when she came up out of the land of Egypt.“

Hosea 2:14-15

 

i was reading it at lunch and was quickly reminded of the deep way it still moves me.

the simple joys of being where you’re called to be…

I was completely surrounded by happy, chattering, godly people. We were all attending the same meeting, by choice, for a wholesome cause. The ages were mixed. Boys and girls were getting along and engrossing themselves in intelligent, theological, useful and uplifting conversations. I found myself in the midst of this environment and felt entirely at ease. Perhaps the first time I’ve felt such since I began attending school here in Alabama.

It is in no way my goal to be a part of a group in this life. However, aligning myself with godly individuals that will encourage me to seek God above all else and care about life is a good investment (of time, energy and resources).

Beer and Jesus was quite the success. It was controversial enough of a topic to bring in students from my school. It was important enough for us campus crusade kids to support the gathering and it was anointed by God enough to scare a few people away (meaning God was there and He spoke through the speakers).

I had to make my exit from this haven sooner than I would have liked to complete my homework. Yet, I knew I was in the right place and with the right people when they agreed that homework was God’s work for me at this point in my life. Hard to imagine. People who love Jesus and see living life well and to the full is mandatory. Ahhh.

my mother will confirm that this was so me as a baby.

home has so many meanings to me.

Well the news on the block is that i’m staying in Alabama another semester. Yes, i said that. Uhuh. Weird, huh?

It wasn’t exactly the easiest decision but it was the right one. I have such peace about it and i’m thankful. It would be so much harder if the Lord hadn’t blessed me with this peace.

I’m staying. It still surprises me. I still love moody and i still hope to return there next fall…but right now i’m here and i want to be all here…pray for me if you think about it.

There are three specific things that i have on my mind and on my “list” to work on during this extra time I’ve been given. I have to apply myself and honestly it’s hard. My stubborn flesh keeps getting in the way. This Olivia wants to do her own thing and blow off the responsibility she should be honoring. She wants to be free and not struggle…but she’s not in that place yet…. that’s one reason she’s staying.

I’m here. Hello home…i’m here. Use me Lord. Use me…not despite my being here but because i’m here

yes, Lord.

yes, here.

yes, now.

yes.

skillet :)

* photo credit to the first  picture go to Linda Davidson (future roommate candidate). the rest go to Dana McPherson (longtime friend)

i have to do what i know is right.

I’ve always been opinionated and obstanant. I like knowing how things will go and have been guilty of speaking my mind when it wasn’t my place to do so. I’m not perfect but i have experienced a lot of humbling this year because of some of my decisions and some of the people i chose to hang out with (but shouldn’t have)–especially from the really stupid ones. I’ve thankfully gained from these experiences…one of them is a more developed conscience. It doesn’t mean that i’m not occasionally disrespectful to my mother–because i was just this week i feel sure–but it does mean that i’m not only sorry about it quickly but also quite convicted.

Today (and in the last few months) I have been presented with two situations where I had to make specific choices after prayer, godly wisdom and the advice of Christian women older were added into the thought process. I had to make two very difficult choices and then I had to stick by my convictions and believe that God’s way was the best way even when it wasn’t (or still isn’t) pleasant. Both of them involved dear friends of mine who I believed and still currently believe are making very poor choices. I love both girls but I cannot support their decisions at all—and thus I cannot be a part of their current “joy”. Telling them of my choice was one of the most unpleasant things…but it was the right thing. I know it was the right thing—because I invested serious prayer time in it and I think the difficulty of the situation was also a hint.

Conviction—when it’s spiritually induced…is a very real thing.

every morning that i wake up…i get to make a choice. i decide wether i’ll grumble when my alarm goes off. i decide what to wear and what to eat. i decide who i will love and who i will torture with unkindness. my response matters and it really can make or break my influence and my enjoyment in life. but more importantly…it reflects on my Jesus…and honestly…i have some areas i need to work on.

It’s NOT easy. i wake up in the morning and i think about the right response and the one that comes naturally.

today…i choose to live. it’s a day by day thing…choosing to live this way. but i choose.

“We cannot give our hearts to God and keep our bodies to ourselves. Undisciplined use of our bodies will hinder our service to God.”

i have the greatest job EVER

I have the best job ever. i get to work with kids, play with legos, paint things, build things and pretend to be Bible characters on a weekly basis. what could be better?

below…please note my excellent artwork: ladies and gentleman i give you ISRAEL…haha…and especially notice the divided kingdom. also glance at the dead sea and the red sea…no that is not an esophagus…try again.

below…please not my stage set up…it’s supposed to look like a gym not a coolaid stand…

who are you?

I was doing some soul searching today. I’ve got a couple fairly major decisions coming up in the near future and i was just doing a self-inventory. For me, this process usually includes praying, reading my bible and journaling until my fingers hurt. Today has included those things and a lot of just thinking. I was asking myself the question “what do i want to accomplish with my life?”

Obviously, God gets to decide what happens and the order that it happens in. however, i have to take responsibility for my actions and apply myself to life and what I believe God has directed me (through my prayers, Bible reading and the advice and direction of wise, Godly people) to do. Hmmm…with that in mind i revisited my own personal goal and dream list. It’s pretty much the same as it’s always been–with a slight bit of more direction than there has been in the past. Kind of cool in my opinion.

along those same lines, i’ve been evaluating what consumes me. it’s so easy to say…i’m sold out on Jesus. jesus. jesus. jesus…and la de la de da…go on as if i live in this bubble where everything is perfect and i’m always happy. it doesn’t work like that though. i wish i was as sold out as some people i know are. it’s not that my faith isn’t unimportant to me. it is. it’s the only thing that really kept me alive (that and my wonderful family) these last few months. my faith–that relationship with my Lord needs to maintain the number one position in my life. sadly and honestly, it doesn’t always work out that way. being human and being easily distracted. however, i am growing in the spiritually( for which i’m extremely grateful).

hm…i thought about school and work…and living life and engaging and applying myself. it’s a struggle sometimes…but i’m here. God is so good.

living for the only thing i know.

It’s interesting to me how much my perspective on life has shifted as I’ve gotten older. Do you do the same thing?

*The world is so much more complicated than it was as a blonde-haired, green-eyed middle-schooler. That girl was fascinated with climbing things and avoided her spelling words.

*This girl has to remember to set her alarm to get up in the morning. Her hair is still blonde but it’s a lot shorter than it was once. She doesn’t have much time to climb anything, except steps at school. She still doesn’t spell. Eh. O well.

this song is so my life right now. ah. beautiful lyrics. still love them (love for this particular song induced by Sara Gibson–my very first (and beloved) mentor in Budapest, Hungary…freshman year of highschool. whew. been awhile)

thought process

monday morning again…i’m busy and i have to study for this major psychology test.

monday morning…i can just read my Bible later instead of right now.

monday morning…my Bible is staring at me.

monday morning=decision time.

monday morning…what if i miss something on the test because i focus on the Bible instead of my test.

monday morning…that is so stupid.

monday morning…oh the joy of reading Colossians in the morning.

monday morning=satisfied.

monday–a good day!

intermingling with Deity.

I’ve been going to this worship and prayer meeting called “Storehouse” a couple times since the semester began. It’s a beautiful thing. The people who attend are genuine and serious about their relationship. The music promotes true worship and my heart is in a much more stable state after attending.

Tonight, the topic was prophecy. The mere mention of that word scares so many people i know. It was interesting to hear and be a part of the discussion. Yet, what i got the most out of was one of the tangents. That tangent was prayer. It was like chocolate on the sunday of my soul. Mmmmm.

“Every moment of prayer suspends the natural world. Here you find yourself before God, standing in the presence of deity.”

I love praying. I was writing an article this week about things my mother taught me spiritually and one of them was in reference to prayer. My mother taught me how much prayer matters and demonstrated it to me in a real way. I love praying. I’m a little obsessive about it but I crave it.

I love praying out loud. Unfortunately, it makes some people feel uncomfortable. Haha. Thus, I’ve been the weird girl “talking” on her phone…but really praying to God as she’s walking to class. I promise I’m not some psycho that just talks out loud to herself. There is some method to my madness.

My dad and I were blessed with the chance to go to South Korea for a worldwide conference during the summer of 2007. One of the biggest things I learned there was that prayer is more real than I ever imagined. South Korean believers pray. They REALLY pray. When they do, they do it aloud and simultaneously. Though this seemed odd when I first arrived, I quickly grew to love their tradition. I pray aloud all the more now. Intermingling with deity. Who can pass that up? I know my soul couldn’t exist without it.

lessons…and scrubbing floors are always fun.

[sigh]

man. why is it that everything i’m reading, learning and doing…always teach me something? most of the time i don’t realize that they are in the moment. yes, i can pick up on common themes and gain truth in the moment but lessons are learned in the long run (and sometimes they aren’t pleasant). today was one of those days.

i’ve been studying about how to develop the characteristics of a godly wife. this wife honors God above all else. her husband lacks NOTHING. she keeps the home and realizes that it’s her job and she does so joyfully and without complaining. then she teaches her children, especially if they are daughters to do the same. that sounds so easy in theory. it isn’t.

my mother has been asking (not yelling or commanding) me and my sister to clean our rooms for about a week. life has been going wide open for the two of us…and we kept putting it off. i came home between classes today to a clean room. imagine. clean. i like it this way….but i’m not always willing to do the work beforehand that keeps it from getting so un-presentable. sorry, mama. that wasn’t your job. CONVICTED OLIVIA.

she left us a note in the bathroom to get that cleaned too. she didn’t yell at me…but she gave me one more chance. so…i’ve been scrubbing on my hands and knees for a while. perhaps the motivation was to save myself at first…but now…i understand that the home will be my job someday. like my mother, i will have to keep it until it’s time to teach my children to do their share.

cooking–i’ve got that covered

energy and excitement–i’m into that

creativity in an environment–i’m pretty good at

cleaning–i need to be a real woman.

conviction…wow.